"To capture the essence of a good tea is not to merely arrange the assorted bonbons and sweetmeats on silver platters but to somehow provide a tantalising taste of unbidden pleasures, a glimpse of the ambrosia and nectar of the gods, coupled with a perfectly brewed beverage, be it Assam, Darjeeling or even a cheeky little Earl Grey. Here we salute or condemn those purveyors of Dorset's cricket food fare, after a stern examination of their wares, reaching conclusions that will redefine the concept of food. Go, eat and be merry..."

All laid out on one small table.

Where's the cakes? I didn't think much of the tuna sandwiches - too much mayonnaise and cucumber, which is mostly just water. Egg's off my menu and I didn't like the look of the cold hot dogs in a bun. Nice Penguins but overall not much choice.

Not good, I could do a better job than this.

The Penguins were the only things that tasted alright, the donuts were ok I 'spose, but the sandwiches were poor.

I didn't have any tea, it was only served in polystyrene cups, but it was there if you wanted it. The squash was ok.