Can't bat, can't bowl, can't stay fit for 5 minutes. His only plus point is that he can hold his beer better than Doidge. Very injury prone.

Stewkesbury's former drinking prodigy. Played a whole season of rugby injury-free, but has averaged a major injury a game throughout the cricket season. Now forced to quit the game due to persistent back injuries, caused mainly from being droppped in the lineout. Was set to join Dorset Police Force at age of 18. Big fan of Iron Maiden tribute band High On Maiden. Physically and emotionally shattered after every Tottenham defeat, though sees the recruitment of strikers in favour of defenders as a return of the beautiful game to White Hart Lane.

Established himself as a useful evening league opener, only being surpassed by the mighty Dicko as the top run scorer. Defied Stewkesbury's pen picture assessment of his batting ability by posting the third highest innings in Triangle history with 176* against Wareham in 2006. Led the PRT evening league side to promotion to in 2006 before retiring at the top.

"My hair's a mess", "I think it's broken", "There goes my hammy", "Medic!"