Right arm medium
Third man / fine leg
Squeaker, Steve, Soapy, Gypsy Browne, Red Browne, Stig, Cap'n, Pinko, TV's Steven Browne, King Quiddle, King of Portland, Earl of Fortuneswell
5' 8" / 130lbs
Mackerel, Crab (preferably raw)
A frothy pint of John Smiths with Flake, Archers or rum and coke
|Stewkes' Pen Picture:||
A living legend. Bowler extraordinaire, thanks to his own self-taught style. Squeaker's batting is a joy to behold, and is the only man to play a reverse sweep and then run towards the wicketkeeper for a quick single.
Triangle's version of Foghorn Leghorn and noted local celebrity after his winning appearance on BBC's Weakest Link. Undisputedly an Island legend both for his excellent bowling (likes to put the ball up round the batsman's chops) but also for his improvisational batting qualities.
Works as a Fisherman, Odd Job Man, Diver, Decorator, and is hoping to make the break into television either as the next "Handy Andy" or as a children's entertainer. Encyclopædic knowledge of all things fish. Was forced to retire from the PRT evening league team due to the iron fist of the Fortuneswell petticoat government, but struck back by forming the Royal Portland Arms side.
Hones his batting skills against the Weymouth Cricket Club's youth team bowlers and therefore feels he is ready for anything. 'Poor' relation of former Weymouth FC stars Simon and Alex Browne. Didn't attend Simon's wedding and said he wouldn't have gone even if invited.
Has a lovely yellow cap, which makes him the envy of all, sent to him by a relative now settled in Australia. Once missed PRT's batting innings at Damerham because he was strawberry picking 2 miles away from the ground. Kept a bucket of sand on his 16ft clipper, The Nanking Jonny, just in case of fire. Considered piracy as a viable career when fish stocks are low. Lover of breem and tench. Hates freshwater fishermen.
Respected captain of Triangle's Sunday 2nd XI dubbed "Squeaker's Heroes" and life member of Royal Portland Arms Evening League side. Now less than respected captain of Sunday 1st XI following run of defeats at the start of his tenure. Elected to the post of Club Captain in 2007, replacing former encumbant Richard Stewkesbury, who had stepped down due to excessive stress levels.
"Quick, very very quick, very quick, quick, phew.", " 'ere behave", " 'ere that were a stoater!", " 'ere Neighbour", "Yer 'tis", "Percy hit me for 4, so I put the next one up round his chops", "All that boy wants to do is sit in front of the television, when I was his age I was up the dump", "Bowling to Stewkesbury is like feeding a donkey strawberries", "He's wetter than a bucket full of haddock water!"