// ==============================================
// Copyright 2004 by CodeLifter.com
// Free for all; but please leave in this header.
// ==============================================
var Quotation=new Array() // do not change this!
// Set up the quotations to be shown, below.
// To add more quotations, continue with the
// pattern, adding to the array. Remember
// to increment the Quotation[x] index!
Quotation[0] = "\"Call me Phil or Mr Adams... never Adams\" - The late Phil Adams";
Quotation[1] = "\"The general consensus was nice light show, shame about the music\" - The late Phil Adams on Pink Floyd";
Quotation[2] = "\"When were you in Florence? Answer me yes or no!\" - The late Phil Adams grills the late John Baxter";
Quotation[3] = "\"When you're holding £100,000, it doesn't feel like money\" - Simon Barrett";
Quotation[4] = "\"Percy hit me for 4, so I put the next one up round his chops\" - Squeaker Browne";
Quotation[5] = "\"All that boy wants to do is sit in front of the television, when I was his age I was up the dump\" - Squeaker Browne";
Quotation[6] = "\"Bowling to Stewkesbury is like feeding a donkey strawberries\" - Squeaker Browne";
Quotation[7] = "\"He's wetter than a bucket full of haddock water\" - Squeaker Browne";
Quotation[8] = "\"Jonsey, move into the kids nets to balance things up\" - Jan Davey";
Quotation[9] = "\"The mackerel is the fastest fish in the British waters, but the barracuda is the fastest in the world\" - Jan Davey";
Quotation[10] = "\"You have to divide the tea reviews into more than one section. For example: savouries and patisseries\" - Jan Davey";
Quotation[11] = "\"Chicken is mustard and mustard is yellow\" - Ben Doidge on the colour coding of crisp packets";
Quotation[12] = "\"Here comes Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber\" - Ben Doidge";
Quotation[13] = "\"It's better to burn out than fade away\" - Ben Doidge";
Quotation[14] = "\"Come on you Dragons!\" - Ben Doidge";
Quotation[15] = "\"Blackjack is a game based on pontoon\" - Graham Elenor, from his short-lived Echo column 'Odds On'";
Quotation[16] = "\"I haven't had a LBW on a Sunday in 10 years!\" - Graham Elenor";
Quotation[17] = "\"Put this one on ice for tomorrow Chas\" - Graham Elenor";
Quotation[18] = "\"Do you know that I write a column in the Echo?\" - Graham Elenor, author of 'Odds On'";
Quotation[19] = "\"You've got to have a bit of interest\" - Graham Elenor";
Quotation[20] = "\"If I'd backed the winners... like I meant to\" - Graham Elenor";
Quotation[21] = "\"Never back the odds-on favourite\" - Graham Elenor";
Quotation[22] = "\"Weymouth had 4 bowling points, 5 batting points, 10 for the win, then add 12 bonus points... so they ended up with 24\" - Graham Elenor makes sense of the Premier Division's scoring system";
Quotation[23] = "\"Stigmata is a 1970's remake of the Exorcist\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[24] = "\"That's no skin off my teeth\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[25] = "\"You can't keep a domestic animal as a pet!\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[26] = "\"Ears have walls\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[27] = "\"Most criminals in Neighbours have double-barrelled surnames, such as Kev Kelly, Barry Burke and Mitch Mitchell\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[28] = "\"I bet Elenor had to pay for it in Amsterdam\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[29] = "\"Sorry Stumps, I can't be bothered with cricket, I'm getting stoned this weekend\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[30] = "\"Artificial wickets make the bowlers look much better than they actually are\" - Dave Males";
Quotation[31] = "\"If you'd moved me up the order, then we wouldn't have lost Fatboy!\" - Michael Males to Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[32] = "\"I'm on another planet mate\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[33] = "\"I've eaten harder things than that!\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[34] = "\"Winston Churchill is the most evil man who has ever lived\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[35] = "\"You don't want to mess with someone who has a law degree\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[36] = "\"I've given, but have never received\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[37] = "\"Stalin was alright, just a little deluded\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[38] = "\"The club is bigger than one man\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[39] = "\"Tony Blair is a bloody Tory!\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[40] = "\"I'm on the management committee for this league, and I'll report this incident to them at the next meeting\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[41] = "\"You can't do that to me, do you know who I am? I'm Sam Polley!\"";
Quotation[42] = "\"How can they send out an umpire wearing glasses?\" - Aarron Riley";
Quotation[43] = "\"Where do 'Bye Week' play?\" - Aarron Riley";
Quotation[44] = "\"Can you get Five Live on that radio?\" - Aarron Riley";
Quotation[45] = "\"Go on, ask me anything\" - Aarron Riley";
Quotation[46] = "\"Come on Stewkes, courage and conviction\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[47] = "\"Oh no, skiddies again!\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[48] = "\"I don't make mistakes\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[49] = "\"I can take someone with me, not necessarily mother\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[50] = "\"There's always beds available at the Stewkesbury residence\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[51] = "\"It'll keep, not for long...\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[52] = "\"Graham was not pleased with what went on\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[53] = "\"It was the best $70 I've ever spent\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[54] = "\"I saw it swell by two to three inches in front of my very eyes\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[55] = "\"The machine will get you in the end\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[56] = "\"I've never forgiven the French for 1066\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[57] = "\"When that green hut goes, so do the Baxters\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[58] = "\"I've got one word for you Ben Taylor - shot selection\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[59] = "\"Pickup is just the way a bat feels\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[60] = "\"Mother's already had a practice pack. She's so excited... bless her\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[61] = "\"I've never thought of myself as a brilliant player and I guess my style is far from being straight out of the coaching manual\" - Jason Styles talks to the Dorset Echo";
Quotation[62] = "\"Alright Bert?\" - Melvyn Tremlin";
Quotation[63] = "\"Those aren't my socks you've just cut up Doidgey\" - Melvyn Tremlin";
Quotation[64] = "\"What exactly do you bowl Jan?\" - Melvyn Tremlin";
Quotation[65] = "\"In the nets? That doesn't count sonny\" - Melvyn Tremlin";
Quotation[66] = "\"More cake Bunter!\" - Conrad Cole";
Quotation[67] = "\"What's a muff burger?\" - Tony Quayle";
Quotation[68] = "\"Come on Jody, let's get these lads home\" - Tony Quayle cajoles his misbehaving car";
Quotation[69] = "\"Daddy doesn't need this at the moment Jody\" - Tony Quayle scolds his misbehaving car";
Quotation[70] = "\"This is first team cricket Neven\" - Gary Randell";
Quotation[71] = "\"Billy, is it alright if I use the wand?\" - John Ryan";
Quotation[72] = "\"No slogs\" - Rupert";
Quotation[73] = "\"If we get stopped by the police, we've got to eat that cake pretty quick\" - Rupert";
Quotation[74] = "\"'Ere that were a stoater!\" - Squeaker Browne";
Quotation[75] = "\"I bowl the ball in to the batsmen\" - Jan Davey";
Quotation[76] = "\"You may be seated\" - The late Phil Adams";
Quotation[77] = "\"That's no skin off my bones\" - Daniel Jones";
Quotation[78] = "\"Pol Pot was just having a bit of fun\" - Grant Neven";
Quotation[79] = "\"Oh yeah, she gets under your skin. She's your mistress, the sea, if you've grown up with her\" - Squeaker Browne talks to the Dorset Echo";
Quotation[80] = "\"Jones, you need to go away and learn the rules of cricket, you f***ing pilchard!\" - Grant Neven takes a marginal lbw decision well";
Quotation[81] = "\"Goodbye cricket!\" - Richard Stewkesbury retires from cricket, this time for good!";
Quotation[82] = "\"Sod cricket!\" - the late John Baxter";
Quotation[83] = "\"I was laying bricks with my 14-incher, but the Baxter's only had their little ones\" - The late Phil Adams";
Quotation[84] = "\"I've taken eight wickets, but I haven't bowled well today\" - Jan Davey";
Quotation[85] = "\"That's great cricket for a sunny afternoon\" - John Ryan";
Quotation[86] = "\"Not many people know this, but Simon Browne dyes his hair\" - A very drunk John Ryan reveals Browne's secret";
Quotation[87] = "\"It's a kissy-kissy beer\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[88] = "\"I'm having people chucked at me left, right and Chelsea just before teas\" - Tony Quayle";
Quotation[89] = "\"I've found the ball... no, it's a snail\" - Alex Warner";
Quotation[90] = "\"Philosophy? That's all about pirates isn't it?\" - Dan Strong";
Quotation[91] = "\"My batting technique needs a complete overhaul for next season\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[92] = "\"I've got to stop letting the bat do all the work\" - Richard Stewkesbury";
Quotation[93] = "\"If that's how they want to win the league then let them carry on\" - Graham Elenor";
Quotation[94] = "\"I've got to play this game, I'm a coach!\" - Aarron Riley";
Quotation[95] = "\"I don't like chunky pickle\" - Aarron Riley";
Quotation[96] = "\"I prefer watermelons because of their flavour\" - Aarron Riley";
Quotation[97] = "\"Horseradish comes from horses\" - Aarron Riley";
// ======================================
// Do not change anything below this line
// ======================================
var Q = Quotation.length;
var whichQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));
function showQuotation(){document.write(Quotation[whichQuotation]);}
showQuotation();