Portland Red Triangle CC

Founded 1922

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Richard Stewkesbury Richard Stewkesbury
Full Name: Richard Wilberforce Stewkesbury
Birthplace: Portland
Batting Style: Right-hand bat
Bowling Style Right arm leg break
Fielding Position Short Cover
Aliases: The Duke, Stewkes, M'Lady, Lucy McBride, Lucy Jones, Twosie, Stewkleberger, The Ginger Biscuit, Riccardo, Richie Redbeard, Klinsmann, Fatboy (M.Males only), Robbie Brookside, Rikishi Fatu, Grass, Mr. Passive, Drug Czar, Dooksbury, Dom DeLuise, Bagpuss, Pussywillow, Puss, Bunter, Johnny Knoxville, Dickie, The Pot Hunter
Height/Weight: 5'8" / 500lbs
Favourite Food: Pork scratchings, Mother's Roast (especially turkey), in fact all of Mother's cooking
Favourite Tipple: Real Ales, especially Yellowhammer, Bombshell and Ringwood '49er; Strongbow Spice (now discontinued), Strongbow Sirrus
Stewkes' Pen Picture: Generates phenomenal amounts of spin (and flight) from highly unorthodox action. Enthusiastic batsman who has a habit of getting bowled when cloud watching. Respected for helping to keep the Club running over the years.
Profile: Finally fulfilled his dream and ousted Graham as Club Captain, but only after he left the country and departed for the Orient. Stood down after two years in the post citing the stress caused by the excessive level of reponsibility. Was one of Currys' top salesmen in the games department, though once had a nibble on a plasma screen. Has devoted his life to the pursuit of real ale, but takes time off to indulge in pub sports, excelling at both pool and darts, but sees his long term future in whist. Named his bats Bertha and Veronica and is a ball-shiner extraordinaire.

Signature delivery is the Snowball, which reaches 15ft at its peak. Often outwitted by arch enemy Spike Smales. Notorious for his pitched battles with fruit machines. Likes pub quizzes, concentrates on Star Trek as well as mountains and lakes. Owns a Captain Jean Luc Picard Star Trek costume (sorry, uniform). Lost $300 at Las Vegas Casinos, but invested $70 in 49 minutes of Mexican delicacies. Has twice seen the red mist in his lifetime, fears repeat of when his father saw red and put two men in hospital.

Not a particularly big fan of Chris Day due to his associations with the narcotics industry. Researched intensively into the effects of extreme drug abuse, with particular emphasis on cannabis, and reported that there was no problem. Claims Malcolm Marshall is the fastest spinner he's ever faced. Has met both Charlie Dimmoch and Anna Ryder Richardson and reported them to be good eggs. Currently waiting for his inheritance to be cleared so he can go on mammoth spending spree, though this meant he couldn't go on end of season tour to Amsterdam.

Currently holds 5th position in Dorset's Scorer Rankings, though he insists no-one, not even Chris Peach or the mighty Prankherd, is better than the Duke. Only man whose guard is higher than his batting average ("2 please"). Doesn't like being bounced in the nets if he has to go on holiday the next day (with Mother).

Briefly left Triangle's evening league side for one season in the vain hope of collecting some silverware with the Bridge Inn Bears, but gained only a loser's medal in the Echo Cup final. Has returned to his spiritual home and is once again looking to establish the The George Inn as a team to be feared in the Weymouth District Evening League.
Memorable Quotes: "That's it, I'm retiring at the end of the season, from all cricket!", Come on Stewkes, courage and conviction", "Oh no, skiddies again!", "I don't make mistakes", "I can take someone with me, not necessarily mother", "There's always beds available at the Stewkesbury residence", "It'll keep, not for long...", "Graham was not pleased with what went on", "It was the best $70 I've ever spent", "I saw it swell by two to three inches in front of my very eyes", "The machine will get you in the end", "I've never forgiven the French for 1066", "When that green hut goes, so do the Baxters", "This Strongbow is spicey!", "I've got one word for you Ben Taylor - shot selection", "Pickup is just the way a bat feels", "Simon Browne is available e-ver-y single Saturday", "Mother's already had a practice pack. She's so excited...bless her"